Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
