You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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