2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
