Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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