I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
she smelled like a LAN party
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
