I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
this will be a night to untag.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
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