So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
