Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
