I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
