spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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