So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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