I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
