I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Rumble strips road head = magical
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
