hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
