you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
