We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
