I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize