im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
