I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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