So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize
