hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
