I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
