I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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