But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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