your thong is hanging out like whoa
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
