we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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