If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
