Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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