haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
3pm strippers are depressing
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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