he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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