I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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