East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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