Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
