You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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