Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
