Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Having a random hookup so left but love u
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
