On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
