so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
