Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
