You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
