Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
