I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize