the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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