Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
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