she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
