Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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