i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
