I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize
