No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
