i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize