Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
