I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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