I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
