ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize