He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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