2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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