i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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