After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
