One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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